A Conversation About Your Heart

Take a look at yourself.
Listen to the voices in your head.

What do you see? 

What do you hear? 

Do you see your Maker?

Do you hear His voice?

Let him speak. 

Listen to Him sing over you. He sings songs of 

peace,

love, 

and purifying forgiveness.

He says, "I love you."

He says, "Do not worry."

Do you love Him? 

Does your heart yearn for Him?

Do you ache for His touch?

Do you fear being far from Him?

He has never left you.

He has promised that He will never ever leave your side.

Do you hear that? 

Never. 

Leave.

  You.

Even in His anger, His jealousy, and His wrath...

the God of everything has 

mercy,

grace,

and love everlasting.

He never breaks His promise. 

He always loves you. 

It's not about what you have done.

It's not about anything you could ever say. 

He loves you simply because He loves you. 

He knows every part of you. He knows all your 

fears,

passions,

and deepest, darkest hurts.

He is the crafter of your heart;

The very heart that beats inside of you which keeps you

 b r e a t h i n g, 

m o v i n g,

l i v i n g.

He desires your heart. But it's your choice to love him.

It's your choice to let him   f l i p   your whole world upside down. 

It's your choice to step into the best adventure of your life. 

He gives you life, identity, and love in all the purest forms.

When you seek these things elsewhere, you find them  i n c o m p l e t e.

But God holds all things in their proper time and place. 

He holds you in the proper place. 

He desires to use you for what you were created to do. 

He desires to draw out your passions and use you to 

                                       change

                                                             the 

                                                                                world.

Let the Holy Spirit move you to compassion. 

You are precious.

You are treasured.

You are valued.

And you make a difference. 

                                                                   Do you believe that?

Do you see what God has done for you?

He has redeemed you. 

He has given you freedom. 

He has taught you what Love is, and shown you how to live Love. 

Let Him move you. 

Let what He has done for you reflect onto others.

Love, because he first loved you. 

{1 John 4:19}

Choosing to Commit

With no job and no where to [officially] live once I moved out of the dorms, I was left during finals week to rely completely and entirely on God for His provision in my life for the summer. Everything was either completely unknown or a work in progress. But the Lord kept reminding me of His everlasting faithfulness. He repeatedly told me that he wants good, protection, and growth for me. Today, over a month later, I have complete housing, two internships, a counseling position at the MK Reentry camp in July, and plenty of babysitting jobs to get me through the summer. God is good. And even if I had not been given all these things, He still would remain good and faithful and I would still trust Him with my life. 

But here comes the beginning of it all. Last week I started my very first internship in Public Relations and Admissions. This is what I have been learning and preparing myself in for years, but the night before my first day on the job, I began to feel anxious. I had anxiety that I would not be what they expected and that I would not be able to do what they need me to do. But God, in His all-knowing goodness, kept placing peace in my life. There was a specific verse that kept coming into my thoughts in every moment of the next few days, which was this:

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, 

and your plans will succeed."

Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)

It is a simple sentence. It is not a lengthy paragraph explaining every thing one must do in order to succeed. It is not a speech given only to those who know every thing that they want, nor is it just for those who need direction. It is a simple calling from God that we just come to Him, and commit every thing that we have, are, and ever will be to him. Success through God when we commit our all to him may not look like the success we imagine or believe we need. God's definition of success is a little (or sometimes a lot) different than we imagine for ourselves, but it is always - and I mean always - better. 

"Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; 

God probes for what is good." 

Proverbs 16:2 (MSG)

So when Proverbs 16:3 kept coming back to me when ever I would feel the least bit anxious, I finally sat down and prayed to God about it. I committed my summer, my passions, my internships, my relationships, and everything I could think of, to God. I told him that His way is better than my way, and asked him to remind me of that whenever I began to think differently. ;) And here I am, committing all of my summer duties to God, trusting that He will lead, guide, and provide for me. Also trusting that he knows what is best for for me and what I am capable of. God knows beyond my awareness what I can do with my life, so I am choosing to trust.

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, 

neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord."

Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)

I can have expectations and plans in my head. I can have dreams, and I can think that I know what is best. God created us to be thinkers, dreamers, and difference makers. But if our desires are not lined up with the desires and heart of God, then that just seems like a waste. God knows the big picture, and I think I would rather let Him guide me than try to run through this crazy course of life all by my own rules and directions. 

"To man belong the plans of the heart,

 but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue."

Proverbs 16:1 (NIV)

Another thing I am choosing to do is to thank God for my unanswered prayers. To me, unanswered prayers mean one of two things:

1. I prayed and begged God for something that I really did not need, but thought I surely did, and He protected me from what I did not know would be harmful to me. Or...
2. He has yet to answer my prayer because he knows the better time for it, and he sees the big picture and how what I have asked for will fill my life for His glory in His perfect timing. 

Praise God that he knows all and holds all in his hands! I would be a shipwrecked mess without my Savior telling me "no" or giving me grace where I fall short. 

"Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it.

 Learn the unforced rhythms of grace." 

Matthew 11:29 (MSG)

Take the "easy"route to proper success and give God your all. If you are truly in Christ, you will thrive through His glories, but you will also suffer for a worthy cause. It is all worth it, I promise you. 

So That I May Live.

Have you ever thought about the cross?

Christ died a shameful death - the MOST shameful death possible for that time and culture. He died a death on a cross. Two planks of wood were stood up, nails were sent through his hands and feet and he was stuck on the cross and hung there to die. Not only did he endure that [for us], but he also endured mocking, betrayal, being stripped of his clothing, being yelled at, and being provoked. The soldiers disgraced him immensely and the disciples denied him. And what did Jesus do while they did all of that to him?  He let them move him as they pleased. He let them kick him and whip him and call him mocking names. They tried their hardest to provoke him to anger and to lashing out against them. Yet, he did nothing but pray for them.

When I read the passages about the crucifixion, I want to yell at Jesus and scream at him, "Say something! Do something! Tell them what this means! Explain who you are!" But he doesn't do that. He stays completely silent and accepts their beatings and their wretchedness. And when he finally does speak, he tells the women not to weep for him (Luke 23:28). The second time it is recorded of him speaking, he is hanging on the cross and all is he says is, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing."(Luke 23:34)

Wow. Just wow. Let that blow your mind. It blows my mind. He is so humble. I see him as absolutely overcome with grief that he can't say a single word to them. Have you ever felt that feeling? You're so upset and heartbroken about something, and then the most agitating, annoying thing that would make you lash out any other day happens and you can't even muster up the ability to respond to it. You just are so overcome with sadness that you can't respond. I imagine Christ felt that way during the crucifixion. He was so overcome with sadness. He must have thought, "they don't understand what they are doing, and they don't understand what I am going to do for them." He had pity on them. He was grieved for the sins they were committing. But he also knew that he had to do this task, dying on the cross for all sins, in order to carry out God's plan.

He knew the purpose for which he was to suffer, and he knew he would rise up again, defeating death for ever. He makes a statement toward this during the Last Supper as he ate with the disciples. "When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. And he said to them, 'I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God...This is my body, given for you; do this in remembrance of me...this cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you,'" (Luke 22:14, 19, 20). I imagine the disciples thought Jesus was talking crazy talk. Body? Blood? Kingdom? Jesus, where are you going? How long will you be gone? Suffer?

But you know what else I believe he felt alongside all the grief? Joy. I genuinely believe with all my heart that through all of this, Jesus felt inexplicable joy for what was coming. He knew that the people would gradually begin to understand who he is and what his purpose is for being there. They would see him die, and three days later they would find an empty tomb. And that empty tomb would mean that this man that they learned to love, follow, and admire for years was back and he was going to be with them for a much longer time.

This is not a simple concept to take in. Here we are thousands of years later and we still can't completely fathom that God sent his son to become a man, live this human life, be tempted beyond what most of us can bare, teach boldly to people who wanted nothing to do with him, and then be crucified for something he was not even guilty of doing. Those who knew Jesus and saw all of this first-hand could hardly believe it. And yet, it is historical truth. We believe it because we have faith that God is a good God and that he loves us so much that he did do exactly what I just spoke of. This is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed of believing. Our Savior is risen! He defeated death! Because he lives, we too can have life and have it to the full.

Christ died on the cross so that I may live. He wore those chains and took the mocking because he knew that someday I would be sitting on the bleachers in the rain, in the middle of the night, and I would look up at the Wilmore water tank cross as it glows in the sky, and I would tell him the story of his crucifixion and it would compel me to write this to you as I freeze. (And a year later, to finally write the rest of this and actually post it for you to read!) He died so that I may live a life that leads others to him. If he had never done that, none of us would be here today, and none of us would see the true glory of God's incredible all-encompassing love.

"'Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?' The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ."

1 Corinthians 15: 55-57 (NIV)

God bless & Happy Easter to you all :)