Thursday, April 25, 2013

Tips for Third Culture Kids [Entering College]

One day last semester I was sitting in class and had this sudden idea to write out a list of my TCK moments since I moved to the States. This is not a complete list, but it is what I have so far. Maybe in the future there will be a part 2 (and so forth). I hope you enjoy this and find you can relate to it to some extent!
  • Find a church. Be open, visit more than one church in your area, ask people where they go and invite yourself, make a list of what you like and dislike about each one, look for somewhere you could call "home". My church became a piece of home away from "home" for me and I gained a family inside the people who I went to church with. 
  • Go to MuKappa events. If you school has a MuKappa, that is. Look for the other MKs and TCKs on your campus and find things to do with them. You may not get along with all of them, but you will find you treasure those little bits of time spent with them. Talk about your countries with one another.
  • Embrace the flip flops. It will keep you sane. (If you grew up in a country where you wore them a lot, anyway.)
  • Don't be afraid to ask for rides. Face it, you probably won't have your license for a couple years during college. I was used to being able to drive around in Indonesia for a while and I got to the States and couldn't drive anymore. Don't be afraid to ask for help to get places. (It's humbling, too.) 
  • Learn how to tip. Tipping is confusing if you haven't been living in the States. Tipping is different in every country. Don't be embarrassed to ask your friends/peers how to tip (or you can just google it). 
  • Go to a Superbowl party, even if you don't like football (not futbol). It's a great experience, you make friends, you learn about the American culture a lot, and it's great food! You don't even have to watch the game in order to have fun. 
  • Talk to TCKs/MKs from different areas of the world than you. You may actually find that you are surprised by how different those worlds are, yet how much you can still relate to them. TCKs/MKs are a special kind of people, but you already knew that. It may take a little more effort, but it is totally worth it and you can learn about more cultures.
  • If you get a chance to, carry your country's flag at an event/ceremony. It may be a bit embarrassing and the flag may slap you in the face as you walk through the chapel aisles, but it's a great experience and you get to show people where you're from. 
  • Teach people some vocabulary from your language. Some people really love learning new languages. Chances are, you're going to slip words from your language on a weekly basis and letting your friends in on that will be a great bonding point! 
  • Use your language even if no else knows it. I wish I used my Indonesian more often because I feel like I am forgetting it. It's kind of fun to throw it out there every once in a while.
  • Be patient with the lack of convenient and cheap public transportation in America. Also be aware that you can't really walk many places. I grew up in a country with super convenient public transportation (though not very clean) and it is weird to be in the States where it's expensive and not easy to get.
  • Just say you're from the country you identify with. Some people care, and some don't care. Get over it and move on in the conversation if they don't. Just try not to take it personally. If they do care, you may get a really amazing conversation out it. Don't have too many expectations with that conversation, but take what you can get.
  • Find friends who live in the area and get away from campus every once in a while. You will appreciate a home cooked meal and time in a real house, and dorm life gets a little bit suffocating sometimes. You will also probably love the family time, even if it's not your family. 
  • Be thankful for soft toilet paper. Most college dorms don't give you the highest quality toilet paper. It sounds strange to be thankful for that, but trust me, you will appreciate it. It's the little things. 
  • Remember that candy that you used to not be able to get is no longer as precious. Eat that Reese's Peanut Butter cup when you get it! You will get another one before the next year. And don't be ashamed if you feel like putting Ranch dressing on everything you eat. That's "unlimited," now, too. 
  • It's okay to panic if you don't know where you're going for the next break. Your roommate may know where he/she is going for every single 5 day weekend and all the breaks, but take it one break at a time. Enjoy the fact that you sort of have the entire world to chose from and go visit friends you haven't seen in a while, go to a MuKappa event (like the Spring Break trip in Florida!) or try and get invited to go home with a friend from school. College offers a lot of opportunities for those random road trips you always dreamed of.
  • If you're a U.S. Citizen and your passport expires, remember that this time you won't get kicked out of the country. But also remember to renew it ASAP so you can leave the country. Your passport might also become a source of ID for you for a good amount of time. Don't lose it. 
  • Make sure you know where a copy of your birth certificate is. You will be amazed at how many times you need to use it as a source document for various things. Also make sure you have your Social Security card available and in your possession/close to you. You're going to use that a lot, too. 
  • If you're going to study another language at school, beware that you're probably going to sit in class the entire time reminding yourself to not think in any other language. It wil be exhausting and confusing and your professor may not understand when you answer his Spanish questions in Indonesian. 
  • Let yourself fall in love with Pandora and Netflix. These don't work overseas (at least most countries as far as I am aware). Take advantage of the fact that you have them now!
  • It's okay if you start feeling "at home" at college. It is actually a really nice thing if you let it be so. You're going to be there for at least 4 years probably, so let it become something familiar and "homey". Otherwise you may feel like you're walking on eggshells for the next four years looking for somewhere to call home.
  • Spend some time on YouTube looking up commercials from your country. Laugh and appreciate the ridiculousness of it all. 
  • Google Maps will make you homesick, but use it to your advantage to look at the old familiar streets where you grew up. Find all the houses you have lived in around the world. Thank the internet for having Google Maps. 
  • When fall/winter comes, observe what people wear. You're going to be cold, so invest in ear muffs and/or a hat. 
  • Realize that other people have "small world" moments, too. Learn to hold back sometimes on your stories of small world connections. There is a time to share those stories, and a time to be quiet and listen to other people be excited about their moment.
  • Realize that your life experiences are just as important as someone who has never left the city they were born in. They may not be a world traveller, but chances are they have some pretty amazing life experiences to talk about, too! Ask them questions about their life.
  • If you see an even on campus has free food offered, go. You get food, and you could make a friend! 
  • If you live in KY (or anywhere like it), be prepared for really confusing weather. Not only did I transition from two seasons to four seasons, but one day it will snow an d the next it will be T-shirt weather. Learn to check the weather report every morning before you get dressed. Layers are helpful.  
  • Don't worry if you feel weird when you crave the strangest foods in situations that don't typically call for it. I often crave jagung bakar (corn) whenever I would go to a bonfire. 
  • When it comes time to pack up at the end of the semester, rent a storage unit with friends or find someone in the area who will store your things. You will be amazed by how much stuff you have accumulated over the school year. Since I didn't have anywhere to store a lot of my stuff at the beginning, I pretty much had everything I owned in my dorm room. You're not going to be able to take all your stuff with you wherever you end up for summer. 
  • And finally, keep in contact with your friends from where you grew up. It doesn't have to be constant or super significant (though that latter is quite nice to have), but do stay in touch. You will appreciate having those people when you feel like no one knows you or the country you grew up in. Having someone like that to text, call, or Skype can be a life-saver. 

4 comments:

  1. Hello. I am one of Mrs. Hegle's students and I just had a chance to read this blog :)
    I'm Japanese but I'm living in Peru, which makes me a TCK as well. It's really amazing to see how you mentioned many of the concerns I had about going to college in the States. It was so helpful I think I'm going to end up reading it over again right before I leave and probably even after I get there. Tipping, finding the means of transportation, Superbowl parties, and having constant access to yummy American candies will all be very new for me that will probably take some time to adjust to. My greatest fear, since I'm not American, is fitting into the American culture. Butit's encouraging to see that you have been able to find connections with other MKs and TCKs.

    I would love to read your part 2 if you ever end up writing it :)

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  2. Hi :) I'm one of Mrs. Hegle's students as well and am very thankful that you vocalized some of the worries and hopes I already had, as I look forward to moving back to the U.S. I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio and completely know what you're talking about with the crazy weather. I spent way too many nights during my family's furlough year begging my parents to turn the heat up because I didn't have the right clothes. Snow wasn't as fun either. :) As for the Superbowl Party tip, I think I've got that one under my belt. Literally. I think a few pounds of it are still under my belt. :D Thanks so much for writing this! It was great.

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  3. Hello, I am also one of Mrs. Hegle's students and I am also a TCK.
    I was born in Korea, but my family moved to Lima, Peru when I was three years old. I very appreciate your tips :) I have never been to the States, so it will help me to adapt to the weather, and college life in general. Thanks for all the tips about making friends. I may be a little shy at first, but once I get to know somebody well, I can become a very good friend. Now I know where to make friends fast in college :)
    I'll be waiting for the 2nd part :)

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  4. This is amazing~ this should be published in the next TCK book. I identified with every single one (except for the getting used to cold weather ones hehe).

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