With no job and no where to [officially] live once I moved out of the dorms, I was left during finals week to rely completely and entirely on God for His provision in my life for the summer. Everything was either completely unknown or a work in progress. But the Lord kept reminding me of His everlasting faithfulness. He repeatedly told me that he wants good, protection, and growth for me. Today, over a month later, I have complete housing, two internships, a counseling position at the MK Reentry camp in July, and plenty of babysitting jobs to get me through the summer. God is good. And even if I had not been given all these things, He still would remain good and faithful and I would still trust Him with my life.
But here comes the beginning of it all. Last week I started my very first internship in Public Relations and Admissions. This is what I have been learning and preparing myself in for years, but the night before my first day on the job, I began to feel anxious. I had anxiety that I would not be what they expected and that I would not be able to do what they need me to do. But God, in His all-knowing goodness, kept placing peace in my life. There was a specific verse that kept coming into my thoughts in every moment of the next few days, which was this:
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
and your plans will succeed."
Proverbs 16:3 (NIV)
It is a simple sentence. It is not a lengthy paragraph explaining every thing one must do in order to succeed. It is not a speech given only to those who know every thing that they want, nor is it just for those who need direction. It is a simple calling from God that we just come to Him, and commit every thing that we have, are, and ever will be to him. Success through God when we commit our all to him may not look like the success we imagine or believe we need. God's definition of success is a little (or sometimes a lot) different than we imagine for ourselves, but it is always - and I mean always - better.
"Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good;
God probes for what is good."
Proverbs 16:2 (MSG)
So when Proverbs 16:3 kept coming back to me when ever I would feel the least bit anxious, I finally sat down and prayed to God about it. I committed my summer, my passions, my internships, my relationships, and everything I could think of, to God. I told him that His way is better than my way, and asked him to remind me of that whenever I began to think differently. ;) And here I am, committing all of my summer duties to God, trusting that He will lead, guide, and provide for me. Also trusting that he knows what is best for for me and what I am capable of. God knows beyond my awareness what I can do with my life, so I am choosing to trust.
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,' declares the Lord."
Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)
I can have expectations and plans in my head. I can have dreams, and I can think that I know what is best. God created us to be thinkers, dreamers, and difference makers. But if our desires are not lined up with the desires and heart of God, then that just seems like a waste. God knows the big picture, and I think I would rather let Him guide me than try to run through this crazy course of life all by my own rules and directions.
"To man belong the plans of the heart,
but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue."
Proverbs 16:1 (NIV)
Another thing I am choosing to do is to thank God for my unanswered prayers. To me, unanswered prayers mean one of two things:
- I prayed and begged God for something that I really did not need, but thought I surely did, and He protected me from what I did not know would be harmful to me. Or...
- He has yet to answer my prayer because he knows the better time for it, and he sees the big picture and how what I have asked for will fill my life for His glory in His perfect timing.
Praise God that he knows all and holds all in his hands! I would be a shipwrecked mess without my Savior telling me "no" or giving me grace where I fall short.
"Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it.
Learn the unforced rhythms of grace."
Matthew 11:29 (MSG)
Take the "easy"route to proper success and give God your all. If you are truly in Christ, you will thrive through His glories, but you will also suffer for a worthy cause. It is all worth it, I promise you.
