A "homesick" TCK

I don't remember a lot about my childhood without the photographs and videos, but there are some things I remember. I remember fighting and making up with Devon while playing Barbies on the sidewalk. I remember making jello with my mom. I remember dancing around the living room to what ever music my dad had playing on the stereo. I remember making forts in the basement and sitting in them while playing games on the Play Station 1 with Janalyn and Travis. And I remember a lot of moments with my cousins Lexi and Ali. I wish I could more clearly remember a lot more than I do, but I feel like God has definitely picked out certain memories for me to remember because He knew that before I turned 9, I would no longer be making those same memories. He knew from the moment I entered the world that these would be precious moments to me.

 I remember my parents telling me we're moving to Indonesia and I said something along the lines of "What's Indonesia??" I had no idea what else was out there in the world. I lived in my own little world on 229 Sioux Ct. and thought nothing of countries that were on the opposite side of the equator. I'm kind of glad that I didn't know I would be moving to Indonesia until a few months before we moved. I think if I had lived in a mindset of "I'm leaving here someday," I may not have taken the time to make those memories or feel like that was "home". The last time I really felt like I had a home was probably the years building up to moving to Indonesia.

I have spent almost nine years of my life living in Indonesia. I don't know what I would call "home" or even if I could define the term home in a way that I can 100% agree with. But I saw this quote this morning, and it really captured how I feel.

"We are homesick for a place we have never seen and have never been...but are aching to go." - Jill Scifres

I love this place, the people, the community, and so much about it. I don't want to leave, but at the same time I'm itching to get to somewhere new. I've been accepted to Asbury, and I feel like I have a life waiting for me in America.  America is a country that I feel like a foreigner in, even though my passport claims otherwise. I'm homesick for a place I have never been, and I am aching to go. But, isn't that how Christians should feel about Heaven, too?

We're all foreigners here on Earth, no matter what we try to prove to ourselves or others. None of us were made for this place. Being a Third Culture Kid with no place to comfortably call "home," this has been a big thing for me (though I don't think on it nearly enough). We should feel homesick for Heaven - a place we've never seen and never been - and be aching to go! That is where we will finally feel at home. That is where we will no longer ache for any other place. We will be satisfied in Him.

Fellow TCKs, hang in there.

Opportunities & Obedience

I have learned a lot about myself and my "methods". You see, if I don't want to do something, I have a tendency to become stubborn about it. I may choose to not do it at all, or I'll do minimally what I need to do. Not one of my better qualities ;). But, let me tell you, God has helped me to overcome my stubbornness seventy times seventy times, and still more so. He is relentless in His plan for making me a better follower of Christ. And for that, I am overflowing with joy! What joy it is to know that someone desires to help you become a better person! When you tell someone "I want to change. I want to throw away the dirt in my life and be clean," you are probably telling them because you want accountability and encouragement, right? Well, accountability is what I've got :)

I'm telling you all this because my stubbornness has been playing a part in very specific areas of my life right now. A theme that God has placed in my life the last month so or has been a strong one of obedience. Obedience when it's easy, and obedience when it's tough. And I promise you, He's given me a lot of both opportunities.
To me, obedience to God is an opportunity to grow in faith, to live out my life for Him, and to become just a better person overall. The struggle with obedience is that when the hard tests come, all I really want to do is sit there with my arms crossed and a pout on my face. But, I asked for it. Really, I did. But that's not a bad thing :)

Prayer is a powerful thing. If you ask God for something, make sure that you're really prepared for what you're asking for. I asked God for opportunities, and he gave me them but not always in the forms that I expected. I wasn't ready, I backed out, and I lost potentially wonderful opportunities to spread Christ's perfect love. So I prayed again, Lord give me another opportunity, and the strength to take it. Lo and behold, another opportunity came. This was one that initially made me want to be stubborn. But God calmed me down and pushed me forwards face first into something I didn't want to do. And I believe it glorified His name. Even in my deepest desire to be stubborn and not take what I asked for, God took control and made it beautiful. Made me beautiful.

Obeying is tough, especially when you're as hard-headed as I can be sometimes. But I cannot think of a time when it didn't turn out well.

So, I want to challenge you: Ask God to give you an opportunity to do something that you really don't want to do, and for the strength and wisdom to do it for His glory.

And... we're off! Hello!

It's a new year, so why not start it off (a tad late) with a brand new blog? 

Now, I've tried this blogging thing several times before, but maybe this time it'll stick ;) 

I do have a "plan" for this blog, though it is not limited to that plan. I'm in the final semester of my senior year of high school and I'll be moving to my "home" country to go to college in roughly 5 months after having lived in Indonesia for 9 years. It's not going to be an easy transition, I know. So I want this blog to just be a record of my thoughts through this transition. I will post about other things I feel so led to, but transition is my main focus, and just learning how to listen to and obey God in everything. 

I really am hoping to get some good processing done here, and it would be very encouraging if I could get some feedback - whether it's to just say hello or to give me some advice and feedback on my transition thoughts. I'll just do a bit better with some support and encouragement. :) 

I'll try to get posting soon!